(10) CHARLES DICKENS: DAVID COPPERFIELD: CHAPTER 10 NEGLECTED AND LATER PROVIDED FOR

The first act Mr Murdstone performed after the day of solemnity was over, and light was freely admitted into the house, was to give Peggotty a month's notice.  Much as Peggotty would have disliked such a service, she would have retained it, for my sake, in preference to the best upon  earth.  She told me we must part, and she told me why, and we condoled with one another, in all sincerity.

As to me or my future, not a word was said, or step taken.  Happy they would have been, if they could dismiss at a month's notice too.  I mustered courage once, to ask Miss Murdstone when I was going back to school, and she answered dryly, she believed I was not going back at all.  I was told nothing more.  I was very anxious to know what was going to be done with me, and so was Peggotty; but neither she nor I could pick up any information on it.

There was one change in my condition, which, while it relieved me of a great deal of present uneasiness, might have made me, if I had been capable of considering it closely, yet more uncomfortable about my future.  The constraint put upon me was quite abandoned.  My dull post in the parlour was no more required.  The constraint on my association with Peggotty was removed.  I was never sought out or enquired after.  At first I was in dread of his taking my education in hand again, or Miss Murdstone's devoting herself to it, but soon I found that such fears were groundless, and all I had to anticipate was neglect.

I do not conceive that this discovery gave me much pain, then.  I was still giddy with the shock of my mother's death, and in a kind of stunned state as to all tributary things.  I had speculated, at odd times, on the possibility of my being not taught any more, or cared for any more, and going up to be a shabby, moody man, lounging an idle life away about the village; as well as on the possibility of getting rid of this picture by going away somewhere, like the hero in a story to seek my fortune: but these were transient visions, daydreams I sat looking at sometimes, as if they were faintly painted or written on the wall of my room, and which, as they melted away, left the wall blank again.

'Peggotty,' I said in my thoughtful whisper, one evening, when I was warming my hands in the kitchen fire, 'Mr Murdstone likes me less than he used to.  He never liked me much, Peggotty, but he would rather not see me now, if I can help it.'

'Perhaps he is sorrow,' said Peggotty stroking my hair

'I am sure, Peggotty, I am sorry too, if I believe he was sorry, I would not think of it at all.  It is not that, oh, it is not that.' 

'How do you know it is not that?' asked Peggotty, after a silence.

'Oh, his sorrow is another and quite a different thing.  He is sorry at this moment, sitting by the fire with Miss Murdstone; but if I was to go in, Peggotty, he would be something besides.'

'What would he be?' asked Peggotty.

'Angry?'

 I answered with an involuntary imitation of his dark frown.  

'If he was only sorry, he wouldn't look at me as he does.  I am only sorry and it makes me more kinder.'

Peggotty said nothing for a little while and I warmed my hand, as silent as she.

'Davy,' she said at length 

'Yes, Peggotty?'

'I have tried, my dear, as always I could think of- all the ways there are, and all the ways there aren't, in short- to get a sevice here in Blunderstone, but there is no such a thing, my love.' 

'And what do you mean to do, Peggotty?  Do you mean to go and seek your fortune?'

'I expect I shall be forced to go to Yarmouth,' replied Peggotty 'and live there.' 

'You might have gone farther off,' I said, brightening a little, 'and been as bad lost.  I shall see you sometimes, my dear old Peggotty, there.  You won't be quite at other end of the world, will you?

'Contrary ways, please God!' cried Peggotty with great animation.  'As long as you are here, my pet, I shall come over every week of my life to see you.  One day every week of my life.'

I felt a great weight taken off my mind by this promise: but even this not at all, for Peggotty went on to say:

'I am going, Davy, you see, to my brother's first for another fortnight's visit- just till I have had time to look about me and get to be something like myself again.  Now, I have been thinking, that perhaps, as they don't want you here at present, you might be let go along with me.'

This was an idea I liked best. The memory of  Mr Peggotty, Ham, Mrs Gummidge and above all little Emily showering their welcome to me brightened my mind.  Of the boat house, of the peaceful Sunday morning, when the bells were ringing, the stones dropping in the water, the shadowy ships breaking through the mist, of roaming up and down with little Emily, telling her my troubles, and finding charms against them in the shells and pebbles of beach calmed my heart.

But the doubt of getting consent form Miss Murdstone lingered in our mind.  But soon that was set at rest.  She came out to take an evening grope in the store closet when we were yet in conversation, and Peggotty with a boldness that amazed me broached the topic on the spot.

'The boy will idle there,' said Miss Murdstone, looking at the pickle jar, 'and idleness is the root of all evils.  But to be sure he would idle here- or anywhere in my opinion.'  

Peggotty had an angry answer ready, but she could sallow it for my sake, and remained silent.

'Hump!' said Miss Murdstone still keeping her eye on the pickles - it is of more importance than anything else- it is of paramount importance- that my brother should not be disturbed or made uncomfortable.  I suppose I had better say yes.'

I thanked her without making any demonstration of joy lest it should induce her to withdraw the assent.  It was not a prudent course, since she looked at me out of the pickle jar, as if her eyes had the sourness of the pickles.

The permission was granted, and never withdrawn.  At the end of the month, Peggotty and I were ready to depart.

Mr Barkis came into the house for Peggotty's boxes.  I had never known him to pass the garden gate before, but on this occassion he came into the garden gate.  And he gave me a look as he shouldered the largest box and went out, which I thought had a meaning in it, if the meaning could ever be find its way into Mr Barkis's visage.

Peggotty was naturally in low spirits at leaving what had been her home so many years, and where the two strong attachments of her life had been formed.  She had been walking in the churchyard, too, very early; and she got into the cart, and sat in it with her handkerchief at her eyes.

So long as she remained in this condition, Mr Barkis gave no sign of life whatever.  She sat in his usual place and attitude like a great stuffed figure.  But when she began to look about her, and to speak to me, he nodded his head and grinned several times.  I had not the least notion at whom or what he meant by it.

'It's a beautiful day, Mr Barkis,' I said as a mark of politeness.

'It's n't bad,' said Mr Barkis, who generally qualified his speech and rarely commited himself. 

'Peggotty is quite comfortable now, Mr Barkis,' I remarked, for his satisfaction.

'Is she though?' said Mr Barkis 

After reflecting about it, with a sagacious air, Mr Barkis eyed her and said, 'Are you pretty comfortable?'

Peggotty laughed and answered in the affirmative. 

'But really and truly, you know, Are you?' growled Mr Barkis, sliding nearer to her on the seat, and nudging her with his elbow.  'Are you really and truly pretty comfortable? Are you? Eh?

At each of these enquiries Mr Barkis shuffled nearer to her and gave her another nudge; so that at last we were all crowded in the left hand corner of the cart, and I was so squeezed that I could hardly bear it.

Peggotty calling his attention to my sufferings, Mr Barkis gave a little more room at once, and got away by degrees.  But I could not help observing that he seemed to think he had hit upon a wonderful expedient for expressing himself in a neat, agreeable and pointed manner, without the inconvenience of inventing conversation.  He manifestly chuckled over it for some time. By and by he again turned to Peggotty and repeated,

'Are you pretty comfortable though?'

Every time he repeated this question, I was squeezed to the corner of the cart.  At length, I got up whenever I see him coming, and standing on the foot board, pretended to look at the progress of our journey, and thus avoided being squeezed.

Mr Barkis was so polite to stop at a public house, on our account, and entertain us with broiled mutton and beer.  Even when Peggotty was drinking, he was seized with one of those approaches, and almost chocked her.  But as we drew nearer to the end of our journey, he had more to do and less time for gallantry, and when we got on Yarmouth pavement, we were all too much shaken and jolted, and had no leisure for anything else.

Mr Peggotty and Ham waited for us at the old place.  They received me and Peggotty, affectionately, shook hands with Mr Barkis, who with his hat on the very back of his head, and with shame and leer upon his countenance, and pervading his very legs, presented but a vacant appearance.  They each took one of Peggotty's trunks, and we were going away, when Mr Barkis made a solemn sign to me with his forefinger.

'I say,' growled Mr Barkis, 'It was alright.'

I looked up into his face and answered, with an attempt to be very proud, 'Oh.'

'It didn't come to an end there,' said Mr Barkis, nodding confidentially, 'It was alright.'

Again I answered, 'Oh.'

'You know who was willing,' said my friend.  'It was Barkis, and Barkis only.'

I nodded my assent.

'It's alright,' said Mr Barkis, shaking his hands, 'I am a friend of you.  You made it alright, first. It's alright.'

In his attempt to particularly lucid, Mr Barkis was extremely mysterious, that I might have stood looking in his face, and would have got more information out of it as out of the face of a clock that had stopped, but for Peggotty's calling me away.  As we were going along, she asked me what he said; and I told her he had said it was all right.

'Like his impudence,' said Peggotty, 'but I don't mind that, Davy dear, what you think if I was being married?'

'Why- I suppose you would like me as much then, Peggotty, as you do now?' I returned after a little consideration.

Greatly to the astonishment of the passengers in the street, as well as her relations going on before, the good soul was obliged to stop and embrace me on the spot, with many protestations of her unalterable love.

'Tell me, what should you say, darling?' she said when this was over, and we were walking on.

'If you were thinking of being married- to Mr Barkis, Peggotty?

'Yes,' said Peggotty.

 

'I should think it would be a very good thing.  For you know, Peggotty, you would always have the horse and cart to bring you over to see me, and could come for nothing, and be sure of coming.'

'The sense of the dear!' cried Peggotty.  'What I have been thinking of, this month back!  Yes my precious; and I think I should be more independent altogether, you see; let alone my working with a better heart in my own house, than I could be in anybody else's now.  I don't know what I might be fit for, now, as a servant to a stranger.  And I shall be always near my pretty's resting place,' said Peggotty musing, 'and be able to see it when I like; and when I lie down to rest.  I may be laid not far off from my darling girl!'

Neither of us said anything for a little while.

'But I wouldn't so much as give it another thought,' said Peggotty cheerily 'if my Davy was always against it- not if I had been asked in church thirty times three times over, and was wearing out the ring in my pocket.'

'Look at me, Peggotty,' I replied, 'and see if I am not really glad, and don't truly wish it! As indeed I did with all my heart.'

'Well my life, said Peggotty giving me a squeeze, 'I have thought of it night and day, every way I can, and I hope the right way; but I will think of it again, and speak to my brother about it, and in the meantime we will keep it to ourselves, Davy, you and me.  Barkis is good plain creature,' said Peggotty, 'and if I try to do my duty to him, I think it would be my fault if I wasn't- if I wasn't pretty comfortable.' said Peggotty laughing heartily.  The quotation from Mr Barkis was so appropriate, and tickled us both so much, that we laughed again and again, and were quite in a pleasant humour, when we came within the view of Mr Peggotty's cottage.

It looked just the same, except that it may, perhaps shrunk a little in my eyes; and Mrs Gummidge was waiting at the door, as if she had stood there ever since.  All within was the same, down to the seaweed in the blue mug in my bedroom.  I went into the out house to look about me; and the very same lobsters, crabs and crawfish, possessed by the same desire to pinch the world in general, appeared in the same state of conglomeration in the same old corner.

But there was no little Emily to be seen, so I asked Peggotty where she was.

'She's at school, sir,' said Mr Peggotty, wiping the heat consequent on the porterage of Peggotty's box from his forehead; 'she'll be home,' looking at the Dutch clock, 'in from twenty minutes to half an hour's time.  We all on us feel the loss of her, bless you!'

Mrs Gummidge moaned.

'Cheer up, mother, cried Mr Peggotty.

'I feel it more than anybody else,' Said Mrs Gummidge.  'I'm a lone creature.'

'And she used to be a'most the only thing that didn't go contrary with me.'

Mrs Gummidge whimpering and shaking her head, began to blow fire.  Mr Peggotty, looking round upon us while she was so engaged, said in a low voice, which he shaded with his hand, 'the old one!'  From this I rightly conjectured that no improvement had taken place, since my last visit in the state of Mrs Gummidge's spirits.

Now, the whole place looked quite delightful as it was, yet it did not impress me, as it impressed me at my last visit.  It was a little disappointment.  The absence little Emily added to it.  I knew the way by which she would come, and strolled along the path to meet her.

Before long, a figure appeared at a distance, and soon I recognised little Emily, though she was grown.  But when she drew nearer, and I saw her blue eyes looking bluer, and her dimpled face looking brighter, and her whole self prettier and gayer, a strange feeling came over me, and I pretended not to know her.  And I passed by as if I were looking at a distance long way off.  It was a mistake, and I repented it, in my later life too.

Little Emily didn't care a bit.  She saw me well enough, but instead of turning round and calling after me ran away laughing.  I was obliged to run after her, and we ran so fast that we were near the cottage before I caught her.

'Oh, it's you is it?' said the little Emily

'Why, you know who it was, Emily,' said I 

'And didn't you know who it was?' said Emily.  I was going to kiss her, but she covered her cherry lips with her hands, and said she wasn't a baby now, and ran away, laughing more than ever, into the house.

She seemed to delight in teasing me, which was a change in her I wondered very much.  The tea table was ready, and our little locker was put out in its old place, but instead of coming to sit by me she went and bestowed her company upon the grumbling Mrs Gummidge, and on Mr Peggotty's enquiring why, rumpled her hair all over her face to hide it, and could do nothing but laugh.

'A little puss, it is!' said Mr Peggotty, patting her with his great hand.

'So she's, so she's,' said Ham, and he sat and chuckled at her for some time, in a state of mingled admiration and delight, that made his face burning red.

Little Emily was spooled by them all, in fact, and by no one more than Mr Peggotty himself, whom she could have coaxed into anything, by only going and laying her cheek against his rough whisker.  That was my opinion, when I saw her do it, and I held Peggotty to be thoroughly in the right.  But she was so affectionate and sweet natured, and had such a pleasant manner being sly and shy at once, that she captivated me more than ever.

She was tender-hearted, too, for when we sat round the fire after tea, an allusion was made by Mr Peggotty over his pipe to the loss I had sustained, the tears stood in her eyes, and she looked at me so kindly accross the table, that I felt quite thankful to her.

'Ah!' said Peggotty, taking up her curls and running them over his hand like water, 'Here is another orphan, you see, sir.  'And here,' said Mr Peggotty, giving Ham a backhanded knock on the chest 'is another of them, though he don't look much like it.'

'If I had you, for my guardian, Mr Peggotty,' said I shaking my head, 'I don't think I should feel much like it.'

'Well said, Master Davy,' said Ham, in an ecstasy. 'Hoorah! well said! No more you would. - Here he returned Peggotty's backhander, and little Emily got up and kissed Mr Peggotty.  'And how is your friend, sir? said Mr Peggotty to me.

'Steerforth? said I

'That's the name,' said Mr Peggotty, turning to Ham 'I knew it was something in our way.'

'You said it was Rudderford,' observed Ham, laughing.

'Well,' retorted Peggotty.  'And ye steer with a rudder don't ye?'  'It ain't fur off.  How is he, sir?'

'He was very well, indeed, when I came away, Mr Peggotty.'

'There's a friend!' said Mr Peggotty, stretching out his pipe.  'There's a friend, if you talk of friends!  Why, Lord love my heart alive, if it ain't a treat to look at him.'

'He is very handsome, is he not?' I said, my heart warming with praise.

'Handsome!' cried Mr Peggotty.  'He stands up to you like- like a- why I don't know what he don't stand up to you like.  He is so bold.

'Yes that's just his character,' said I.  'He is as brave as a lion, and you can't think how frank he is, Mr Peggotty.'

'And I do suppose, now,' said Mr Peggotty, looking through the smoke of his pipe, that in the way of book-learning he would take the wind out of almost anything.'

'Yes,' said I, delighted, 'he knows everything, he is astonishingly clever.'

'There is a friend,' murmured Mr Peggotty, with a grave toss of head.

'Nothing seems to cost him any trouble,' said I.  'He knows a task if he only looks at it.  He is the best cricketer you ever saw.  He will give you almost as many men as you like at draughts, and beat you easily.'

Mr Peggotty gave his head another toss, as much as to say: 'Of course, he will.' 

'He is such a speaker,' I pursued, 'that he can win anybody over; and I don't know what you would say if you were to hear him sing, Mr Peggotty.'

Mr Peggotty gave his head another toss as much as to say 'I have no doubt of it.'

'Then, he is such a generous, fine, noble fellow,' said I, quite carried away by my favourite theme, 'that it is hardly possible to give him as much praise as he deserves.  I am sure, I can never feel thankful enough for the generosity with which he has protected me, so much younger and lower in the school than himself.'

I was running on very fast indeed, when my eyes rested on little Emily's face, which was bent forward over the table, listening with deepest attention, her breath held, her blue eyes sparkling like jewels, and the colour mantling in her cheeks.  She looked extraordinarily earnest and pretty, that I stopped in a sort of wonder; and they all observed her at the same time, for as I stopped, they laughed and looked at her.

'Emily is like me,' said Peggotty, 'and would like to see him.'

Emily was confused by our all observing her and hung down her head, and her face was covered with blushes.  Glancing up currently through her grey curls, and seeing that we were all looking at her still ( I could have looked at her for hours) she ran away, and kept away till it was bedtime.

I lay down in the old little bed in the stem of the boat, and the wind came moaning on accross the flat as it had done before.  But I could not help fancy, now, that it had moaned of those who were gone; and instead of thinking that the sea might rise in the night and float the boat away, I thought of the sea that had risen, since I last heard those sounds, and drowned my happy home.  I recollect as the wind and water began to sound fainter in my ears, putting a short clause into my prayers, petitioning that I might grow up to marry little Emily, and so dropping lovingly asleep.

The days passed pretty much as they had passed before, except that little Emily and I wandered seldom on the beach now.  She had her lessons and needle work and was absent during most part of the day.  I felt that the old wanderings were not possible even otherwise- she was now a woman. She was distant now.  She liked me, but she laughed at me.  When I went to meet her, she stole home another way, and was laughing at the door when I came back disappointed.  The best times were when she sat quietly at work in the doorway, and I sat on the wooden step at her feet, reading to her.  At this hour, it seems to me, that I have never seen such sunlight as on those bright April afternoons; that I have never seen such a sunny little figure, as I used to see, sitting in the doorway of the old boat; that I had never beheld such sky, such water, such glorified ships sailing into golden air.

On the very first evening after our arrival, Mr Barkis appeared in an exceedingly vacant and awkward condition, and with a bundle of oranges tied up in a handkerchief. As he made not allusion of any kind to this property it was supposed, he left it behind by accident. Ham ran after him to restore it to him.  But he returned with the information that it was for Peggotty.  After that Mr Barkis came every day exactly at the same time.  With him came a little bundle to which he never alluded, and which he always left behind.  These offerings were of varied and eccentric nature, which included a double set of pig trotters, a huge pin cushion, half a bushel or so of apples, a pair of jet air rings, some Spanish onions, a box of dominoes, a canary bird and cage, and a leg of pickled pork.

Mr Barkis wooed in a peculiar way.  He seldom said anything, but would sit by the fire, as he used to sit in the cart, and stare heavily at Peggotty who sat opposite him.  One night, inspired by love, he made a dart at the bit of wax candle she kept for her thread, and put it in his waistcoat pocket and carried it off.  After that, his great delight was in taking it out, look at it, and putting it back.  When he took Peggotty out for a walk, he had no uneasiness, contending himself with the question ' are you comfortable?' now and then; keep silent during the remaining time. Sometimes, after he was gone, Peggotty would throw her apron over her face and laugh for half an hour.  We were all, except Mrs Gummidge, were amused by these transactions.  There was a reason for Mrs Gummidge to take a different course.  It reminded her of her courtship, in earlier days, that brought miserable memories.

At length, when the term of my visit was nearing an end, it was given out, that Peggotty and Mr Barkis were going to make a day's holiday, together, and that little Emily and I were to accompany them.  In the morning, while we were having our breakfast, Mr Barkis appeared at a distance, driving a chaise-cart towards us. We were all excited.

Peggotty was dressed as usual, in her neat and quiet mourning; Mr Barkis bloomed in a new blue coat, of which the tailor had given him such good measure, that the cuffs would have rendered gloves unnecessary in the coldest weather, while the collar was so high that it pushed his hair up on the end of the top of his head.  His bright buttons were of large size, rendered complete by drab Pantaloons, and a buff waistcoat.  I thought Mr Barkis was a phenomenon of respectability.

When we were all in a bustle outside the door, I found that Peggotty was prepared with an old shoe, which was to be thrown after us for luck, and which he offered to Mrs Gummidge for that purpose.

'No, it had better be done by somebody else, than I,' said Mrs Gummidge.  'I am a lone creature, myself, and every thing he reminds me of creatures that are lone and torn.  It goes contrary with me.'

'Come old girl,' said Mr Peggotty, 'and have it.'

'No, don't,' returned Mrs Gummidge, whimpering and shaking her head, 'You had better do yourself.'

But here Peggotty, who had been going about from one to another in a hurried way, kissing everybody, called out from the cart, in which we all were by this time, that Mrs Gummidge must do it.  So Mrs Gummidge did it, and cast a damp on festive mood of our departure, by immediately bursting into tears, and sinking subdued into Ham's arms, with the declaration that she knew she was a burden, and had better be carried to the House at once.  I thought it was a sensible idea that Ham might have acted on.

On our way the chaise cart stopped at a church.  Mr Barkis tied the horse to some rails, and went in with Peggotty, leaving Emily and me alone in the chaise.  I took the occasion to put my arm around Emily's waist, and propose that I am going away soon, that we should determine to be affectionate to one another, and be happy all day. Little Emily, consenting and allowing me to kiss her, I became desperate, and informed her, that I never could love another, and that I was prepared to shed the blood of anybody who should aspire to her affections.

Little Emily enjoyed my incantation, but she was more mature than me, and aptly called me 'a silly boy,' and then laughed charmingly, that I forgot take offence at those disparaging words, and simply sat blinking at her.

Mr Barkis and Peggotty were a good while in the church, and came out at last, when we drove away into the country.  On the way, Mr Barkis turned to me and said with a wink - by the by I should hardly have thought, that he could wink.

'What the name was it  as I wrote up in the cart?'

'Clara Peggotty,' I answered.

'What name would it be as I should write up now, if there was a tilt here?

'Clara Peggotty, again,? I suggested

 

'Clara Peggotty Barkis!'  he returned and burst into a laughter that shook the chaise. 

In a word, they were married, and had gone into the church for no other purpose.  Peggotty resolved that it should be a quiet event, and the clerk had given her away, and there had been no witnesses of the ceremony.  She was a little confused when Mr Barkis made the abrupt announcement, and could not hug me enough in token of the unimpaired affection,  but she soon become herself again, and said, she was very glad it was over.

We drove to a little inn in a by-road, where we were expected, and where we had a very comfortable dinner, and passed the day with great satisfaction.  If Peggotty had been married every day for the last ten years, she could hardly have been more at her ease about it; it made no sort of difference in her, she was just the same as ever, and went out for a stroll with Emily and me before tea, while Mr Barkis philosophically smoked his pipe and enjoyed himself.  Afterwards I found that the marriage had sharpened his appetite.  He ate a good deal of pork and greens at dinner, and finished off with a fowl or two.  He was obliged to have cold boiled bacon for tea, and disposed of a large quantity without any emotion.

It was getting dark, and we drove back looking up at the stars, and talking about them.  I was the chief speaker and when I was exhausted, or there was nothing more of stars to expose, little Emily and I made a cloak of an old wrapper and sat under it for the rest of the journey. And how I loved little Emily! What happiness if we were married, and were going anywhere to live among the trees and in the fields, never growing older, never growing wiser, children ever, rambling hand in hand through sunshine, and among flowery meadows, laying down our heads on moss at night, in sweet sleep of purity and peace, and buried by birds when we were dead!  Some such picture, with no real world in it, innocent, vague, and afar as stars, was in my mind all the way.

We came to the old boathouse at night.  Mr and Mrs Barkis bade us good bye.  For the first time I felt I had lost Peggotty.  I should have gone to bed with a sore heart under any other roof but that which sheltered little Emily's head.

Mr Peggotty and Ham knew what was in my thoughts, and were ready with supper, and their hospitable faces to drive it away.  Little Emily came and sat beside me on the locker for the only time in all that visit; and it was altogether a wonderful close to a wonderful day.

It was a night tide; soon after we went to bed.  Mr Peggotty and Ham went out to fish.  I felt very brave being left alone in the house, the protector of Emily and Mrs Gummidge, and only wished that a lion or a serpent or any ill disposed monster would make an attempt on us, that I might destroy him, and cover myself with glory. But these were only day dreams, and the dreams of dragons appeared in my sleep.

With morning, came Peggotty, who called to me as usual, under my window, as if Mr Barkis was only a dream.  After breakfast she took me to her home. It was a beautiful little home.  Of all the things in it I was impressed by an old  dark bureau of wood in the tile floored kitchen cum sitting room.  Its retreating top, if let down acted as a desk.  There was a quarto  edition of Foxes Book of Martyrs.  This precious volume of which I do not recollect a word, I began to devour.  I was chiefly attracted by the pictures in it, and ever since the pictures and Peggotty's house had been inseparable in my memory.

I took leave of Mr Peggotty, Mrs Gummidge and little Emily, that day, and passed the night at Peggotty's, in a little room in the roof, with Crocodile Book on the shelf by the bed's head.  Peggotty said that the room was to be mine always, and would be kept for me exactly.

'Young or old, Davy, dear, as long as I am alive and have this house, wherever you go, even if you go to china, the little room in the roof shall be yours.' said Peggotty.

I felt the the truth and constancy of my old nurse, with all my heart.  She accompanied me with Mr Barkis in his cart upto the gate of Rookery.  They left me at the gate, not easily or lightly; and it was a strange sight to me to see the cart go on, taking Peggotty away, and leaving me under the old elm trees, looking at the house, in which there was no face to look on mine with love or liking anymore.

Now I fell into a state of neglect.  I fell into a solitude- no friends, no boys of my own age.  My own gloomy thoughts were my only companions. I had no hope of going to any school, even the hardest one.  Mr Murdstone's income had drained by this time.  He could not bear me and tried to keep me away. 

I was not beaten or starved.  But I was coldly neglected.  When Mr and Miss Murdstone were at home, I took meals with them, but there was a dull silence pervading the atmosphere, as if they were not present; as if I was not present.  I lounge about the houses in the neighbourhood, but, quite disregard, except that they were jealous of my making friends or they were afraid I might give hint of their neglect of me.  Mr Chillip often asked me to go and see him, but I seldom went, and enjoyed the happiness of passing an afternoon in the closet of his surgery; or reading some books that was new to me, with the smell of whole pharmacy coming up to my nose. 

I was seldom allowed to meet Peggotty.  Faithful to her promise she made opportunity to meet me somewhere near every week, and never empty handed.  I found out from Peggotty that Mr Barkis was a miser, and kept a heap of money in a box under his bed.  He pretended it was full of coats and trousers.  Peggotty had to strain a lot to get a small portion of it every Saturday for her expenses.

In this lonely life old books were my companions, and I read them over and over, I don't know how many times.

I had been out one day, loitering somewhere, when turning to the corner of a lane near our house, I came upon Mr Murdstone walking with a gentleman.  I was confused, and was going by them, when the gentleman cried: 

'What Brooks!'

'No, sir, David Copperfield!' I said.

'Don't tell me, you are Brooks,' said the gentleman, 'you are Brooks of Sheffield. That's your name.'

As I observed him closely, his laugh came to my remembrance, I knew him, Quinon, whom I had met at Lowestoft, when I went to that place with Mr Murdstone.

'How do you get on, and when are you educated Mr Brooks,' he asked.  

He had put his hand upon my shoulders, and turned me about to walk with them.  I did not know what to answer, and looked doubtfully at Mr Murdstone.

'He is at home, now,' said Mr Murdstone, he is not being educated anywhere. I don't know what to do with him.  He is a difficult subject.'

The old double look was on me for a moment; and then his eyes darkened with a frown, as it turned, in its aversion.

'Hump!' said Mr Quinon, looking at us both, 'Fine weather!'

Silence followed, and I was thinking how I could disengage my shoulder from his hand, and go away, when he said, 

'I hope you are pretty sharp fellow still? Eh, Brooks?

'Ay! He is sharp enough,' said Mr Murdstone, impatiently.  'you had better let him go.  He will not thank you for troubling him.'

On this hint, Mr Quinon released me, and I made the best of my way home.  Looking back as I turned into the front garden, I saw Mr Murdstone leaning against the wicket of the churchyard and Mr Quinon talking to him.  They were both looking at me and I felt they were speaking of me.

Mr Quinon lay at our house that night.  After breakfast, next day, I had put my chair away, and was going out of the room, when Mr Murdstone called me back.  He then went back to another table, where his sister sat herself at her desk.  Mr Quinon, with his hand in his pockets, stood looking out of the window, and I stood looking at them all.

'David,' said Mr Murdstone, 'to the young this is a world for action; not for moping and droning in.'

'-as you do.' said his sister.

'Jane Murdstone, leave it to me, if you please, I say, David, to the young this is a world of action, and not for moping and droning in.  It is especially so for a young boy of your disposition, which requires a great deal of correction; and to which no greater service can be done than to force it to conform to the ways of working world, and to bend it and break it.' 

'For stubbornness don't do here,' said his sister, 'what it wants is to be crushed.  And crushed it must be.  Shall be too!'

He looked her, half in protest and half in approval. 

'I suppose you know, David, I am not rich.  At any rate you know it.  You have received some considerable education already.  Education is costly, and even if it were not, and I could offer it, I am of the opinion that it is not at all advantageous to you to be kept at school.  What is before you is a fight with the world, and the sooner you begin it the better.'

It occurred to me that I had already begun it, in my poor way.

'You have heard of "counting house", mentioned sometimes,' said Mr Murdstone.

'The counting house?' sir? I repeated.

'Of Murdstone and Grinby in wine trade,' he replied.

I looked uncertain.  

He went on hastily, 'you have heard of counting house, the business, the cellars, the wharf or something about it.'

'I have heard the business mentioned, sir,' said I remembering vaguely, what I knew of his and his sister's resources.

'But I don't know when.'

'It doesn't matter when,' he returned.  'Mr Quinon manages the business.'

I glanced at the latter in deference as he stood looking out of the window.

'Mr Quinon suggests that it gives employment to some other boys, and he sees no reason why it shouldn't, on the same terms, give employment to you.'

'He having,' observed Mr Quinon, in a low voice and turning round, 'no other prospects, Murdstone.'

Mr Murdstone, with impatient, even an angry gesture, returned, without noticing what he had said, 'You will earn yourself for for your eating and drinking, and pocket money.  Your lodging and washing, I will provide for.'

'-which will be kept down to my estimate,' said Miss Murdstone.

'Your clothes will be looked after for you, too,' said Mr Murdstone, 'since you will not be able yet awhile, to get them for yourself.  So you are now going to London, David, with Mr Quinon, to begin the world on your own account.'

'In short, you are provided for, said Miss Murdstone, 'and will please to do your duty.'

Though I quite understood that the purpose of this announcement was to get rid of me, it did not please me, or frightened me.  I was almost confused and was sceptical as to its outcome.  There was not much time to think over it, because Mr Quinon was to leave the next day.

Next day I was in the London coach in Yarmouth, with Mr Quinon; attired in a much worn little white hat with black crape of my mother round it, a black jacket, and a pair of hard stiff corduroy trousers- which Miss Murdstone considered the best armour for the legs in the fight with the world.  And before me in the small trunk my worldly things, I sat, a lone lorn creature; away from our house and the church, the grave beneath the bottom of the tree, the spire looking upward my old playground.  No more of them now, but the empty sky

THE END OF CHAPTER 10