PRIDE & PREJUDICE: JANE AUSTEN: CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR

When they were gone, Elizabeth began to go through all the letters which she received from Jane.  They contained no complaints, nor was there any revival of past occurences, or any communication of present suffering.  But in all, and in almost every line of each, there was a want of that cheerfulness, characteristic of her style.  Elizabeth noticed every  sentence conveying uneasiness and the loss of serenity.

She was suddenly roused by the sound of doorbell, and her spirits were little fluttered by the idea of it being Colonel Fitzwilliam, who had once before called late in the evening.  But, to her utter amazement, she saw Mr Darcy walk into the room.  He inquired after her health.  She answered him with cold civility.  He sat down for a few moments, and then getting up, walked about the room.  Elizabeth was surprised, but said not a word.  After a silence of few minutes, he came he came towards her in an agitation, and thus began:

"In vain I have struggled.  It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to you how ardently I admire and love you."

Elizabeth's astonishment was beyond expression.  She stared, coloured, doubted, and was silent. This, encouraged him; and the avowal of all that he felt, and had long felt for her, immediately followed.  He spoke well, but there were feelings besides those of the heart to be detailed; and he was not eloquent on the subject of tenderness than of pride.  His sense of inferiority - of its being a degradation - of the family obstacles which had always opposed to inclination, were dwelt on with a warmth which seemed due to consequence he was wounding, but was very unlikely to recommend his suit.

In spite of her deeply rooted dislike, she could not be insenible to the compliment of such a man's affection, and though her intentions did not vary for an instant, she was at first sorry for the pain he was to receive.  She tried to compose herself to answer him.  He represented to her the strength of his attachment, and hoped that it would be rewarded by her acceptance of his hand.  She could easily see that he had no doubt of a favourable answer. He spoke of apprehension and anxiety, but his countenance expressed real security.  When he ceased, the colour rose into her cheeks, and she said:

"I am obliged for the sentiments expressed. I would now thank you.  I have never desired your good opinion, and you have certainly bestowed it most unwillingly I am sorry to have occasioned pain to anyone. But I hope it will be of short duration.  The feelings which you tell me, have long prevented the acknowledgement of your regard.

Mr Darcy was leaning against the mantle piece, with his eyes fixed on her face, caught her words with resentment and surprise.  He was pale with anger. It took some time for him to reply with a voice of forced calmness:

"And, this is all the reply which I am to have the honour of expecting!  I might, perhaps, wish to be informed, why with so little effort, I am thus rejected.  But it is of small importance."

"I might as well inquire," replied she, why with so evident desire of offending me and insulting me, you chose to tell me that you liked me against your will, against your reason, and against your character?  I have another valid reason. You have been the instrument of ruining the happiness of my beloved sister."

Darcy changed colour, but did not interrupt her.

"What was your motive," she said, "to work out the separation of Jane and Bingley, involving both in acute misery?"

She paused, and looked at him.  He was listening, unmoved by any feeling of remorse.

"Can you deny that you have done it?

With assumed tranquility, he replied, "I have no wish of denying that.  I did everything in my power to separate my friend from your sister, or that I rejoice in my success.  Towards him I have been kinder than towards myself."

"Long before it had taken place my opinion of you was decided.  Your character was unfolded many months ago by Mr Wickham." 

"You take an eager interest in that gentleman's concerns," said Darcy, in a less tranquil tone, and with a heightened colour.

"Who that knows what his misfortunes have been, can help feeling an interest in him."

"His misfortunes! repeated Darcy contemptuously, "yes his misfortunes have been great indeed."

"And of your infliction," cried Elizabeth with energy.  "You have reduced him to his present state of poverty. You treat him with contempt and ridicule him at the mention of his name."

"And this," cried Darcy, as he walked with quick steps accross the room, "is your opinion of me!  I thank you for explaining it fully.  My faults, according to this calculation, are heavy indeed!  But perhaps," added he, stopping in his walk, and turning towards her, "these offences might have been overlooked, had not your pride been hurt by my honest confession of the scruples that had long prevented my forming any serious design.  These bitter accusations might have been suppressed, had I, concealed my struggles, and flattered you into any design."

Elizabeth, growing angry every moment, said, "I would have refused you, had you behaved in a gentleman like manner.

She saw him start at this, but she continued:

"You could not have made the offer of your hand in any possible way that would have tempted me to accept it."

Again his astonishment was obvious, and he looked at her with mingled expression of incredulity and mortification.

"From the very begining," continued Elizabeth, "your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others, led me to believe that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry."

"You have said quite enough, madam. I perfectly comprehend your feelings, and have now only to be ashamed of what my own have been. Forgive me for having taken up so much of your time, and accept my best wishes for your health and happiness."

And with these words he hastily left the room, and Elizabeth heard him opened the front door and quit the house.

The tumult of her mind, was now painfully great.  She knew not how to support herself, and sat down and cried for half-an-hour.  Her astonishment, as she reflected on what had passed, was increased by every review of it.  That she should receive an offer of marriage from Darcy!  That too in spite of her connections.  It was gratifying to have inspired unconsciously so strong an affection.  But his pride, his abominable pride.  It made him prevent Bingley marrying Jane. The unfeeling manner in which he mentioned Mr Wickham - all these stood against his attachment.  She continued in her agitated mood, till the sound of Lady Catherine's carriage made her feel how unequal she was to encounter Charlotte's observation, and hurried her way to her room.

THE END