Thousand & One Nights: 32nd Night: The Porter and 3 Ladies

The porter went down into the pool; washed himself under the beard and under the arms; then he rushed out of the pool; planted himself in the lap of the fairest girl; put his arm in the lap of the doorkeeper; rested his legs in the lap of shopper and pointing to his penis, asked, "Ladies, what is this?" They were pleased with his antics and laughed, for his disposition agreed with theirs and they found him entertaining. One of them said, "Your cock" and he replied, "You have no shame. An ugly word." The other said, "Your penis," and he replied, "You should be ashamed, and God put you to shame." The third said, "Your dick," and he said, "No." The other said, "Your stick," and he replied, "No." Another said, "Your thing, your testicles, your prick," and he kept saying, "No, no, no." They asked, "What is the name of this?" He hugged this and kissed that, pinched the one and bit the other, and nibbled the third, as he took satisfaction, while they laughed until they fell on their backs. At last they asked, "Friend, what is its name?" The porter  replied, "Don't you know its name? It is the smashing mule." They asked, "What is the meaning of the name the smashing mule?" He replied, "It is the one who grazes in the basil of the bridges, eat the husked sesame, and gallops in the Inn of Abu Masrur." Again they laughed until they fell on their backs and almost fainted with laughter. Then they resumed their carousing and drinking and carried on until nightfall.

When it was dark, they said to the porter, "Sir, it is time that you get up, put on your slippers, and show us your back."

The porter replied, "Where do I go from here? The departure of my soul from my body is easier for me than a departure from your company. Let us join the night with the day and let each of us go his way early tomorrow morning."

The shopper said, "By God, sisters, he is right. For God's sake, and for my sake, let him stay tonight, so that we may laugh at him and amuse ourselves with him, for who will live to meet with one like him again? He is a clever and witty rogue."

They said, "You can spend the night with us if you agree to abide by our condition."

"What's it?"

"Whatever we do and whatever happens to us, shall not be your concern. You shall refrain from making any reference or asking any questions on matters not concerning you. Don't be curious about any action of ours."

"Yes, yes, yes, I am dumb and blind," he replied.

"Rise then, go to entrance, and read what is inscribed on the door and entrance." 

He got up, went to the door, and found on the door and the entrance the following inscriptions written in letters of gold, "Whoever speaks of what concerns him not, hears what please him not." The porter came back and said, "I pledge to you that I will not speak of what concerns me not."

The shopper went and fixed supper. They had some light refreshments; sticking the aloe-wood and ambergris into wax they lighted the candles; burned incense and rose filled the hall. They laid the table, put the plates and cups; wine and fresh fruits were brought to the table; and they sat to eat and drink. Eating, drinking they engaged in refined conversation, bantering and laughing, and joking, when suddenly they heard a knock at the door.

One of the girls rose, went to the door, returned after a while, and said, "Sisters, if you listen to me, you will spend a delightful night, a night to remember." 

"How so," they asked.

"At this very moment, three one eyed dervishes are standing at the door, each with a shaven beard, and shaven eyebrows, and each blind in the right eye. It is a most amazing coincidence. They have just arrived in Baghdad from their travel, as one can see from their condition, and this is their first time in the city. Night overtook them, and being strangers with no one to go to and unable to find a place to sleep, they knocked at our door, hoping that someone would give them the key to the stable or offer them a room for the night. Sisters, each of them is a sight, with a face that would make a mourner laugh. Would you agree to let them in for this one time, so that we may amuse ourselves with them tonight and let them go early tomorrow morning?" She continued to persuade her sisters until they said, "Let them in, but make it a condition that they speak not of what concerns them not, lest they hear what pleases them not."

Pleased, she disappeared for a while, and returned followed by three one eyed dervishes, who greeted them, bowed, and stood back. Girls rose to greet them, extended welcome and expressed delight at their visit, and congratulated them on their safe arrival. They in return thanked the girls and again saluted with bows. They were very much pleased and delighted when they saw the beautiful hall, well set table laden with wine, nuts and dried fruits, the burning candles, the smoking incense, and the three girls, who had thrown off all restraint, they exclaimed with one voice, "By God, this is fine." When they turned and looked at the porter, who, sore from the beating and slapping and intoxicated with the wine, lay almost unconscious, they said, "Whether an Arab or a foreigner, he is a brother of dervish." 

The porter sat up, and fixing his eyes on them, said, "Sit here without meddling. Haven't you read the inscription on the door, which is quite clearly written, 'Speak not of what concerns you not, lest you hear what pleases you not.' Yet as soon as you come in you wag your tongues at us."

They replied, "O medicant, we ask for God's forgiveness. Our heads are in your hands." The girls laughed and made peace between dervishes and the porter; then the shopper offered the dervishes something to eat, and after they ate, they all sat down to carouse and drink, with the doorkeeper replenishing the cup as they passed them round. Then the porter asked, "Friends, can you entertain us with something?"

The Night ended and morning overtook.

Notes:- 

1. Dervishes: Members of Sufi religious order, who observes austerity. Dervishes first appeared in the 12 century; they were noted for their rituals combined with music and dancing.