Thousand & One Nights: 82nd Night
The attendants brought her before the hunchbacked. She turned her face away and moved towards Badr al Din Hasan and stood before him. The singing women followed her. Badr al-Din Hasan took a fistful of gold coins and gave it to the singing
women. The attendants signalled the guests to depart. Then they took the bride inside to undress her and prepare her for the bridegroom. Badr al-Din Hasan and the hunchbacked were left alone. The hunchbacked turned to the other and said, "You have cheered us and favoured us with your presence. Would you please rise and leave us now?"
Badr al-Din rose and was leaving, when the demon and the she-demon appeared.
"Where are you going? asked the demon, "wait here and when the hunchbacked goes to the privy to relieve himself, get into the bridal chamber and lie in the canopied bed, and when the bride comes, and speaks to you, 'It is I who am your husband, for the king had planned all this only to laugh at the hunch backed whom we hired for ten dirhams and a bowl of food and then got rid of.' Then proceed to take her virginity and consummate your marriage. We have no sympathy for the hunchbacked, none but you deserve this woman."
The hunchbacked came and went into the privy. While he sat, defecating so much that the shit kept coming from his ass, the demon suddenly appeared from water bowl in the privy, in the shape of a black tomcat, and said "Meow, meow." The hunchbacked cried, "Away with you, unlucky cat!" But the cat grew and swelled until he became as big as an as ass-colt, braying "Hee-haw, hee-haw!" The hunchbacked was startled, and in his fear, he smeared his legs with shit, screaming, "O people of the house, help me!" Then the ass grew and became a buffalo, and in a human voice said, "Damn you, hunchbacked!" The hunchbacked quaked, and was so terrified that he slipped on the toilet with his clothes on, saying, "Yes, indeed, O king of the buffaloes!" The demon cried out, "Damn you, you mean hunchbacked! Is the world so small so that you had to marry none but my mistress?" The hunchbacked replied, "My lord, I am not to blame, for they forced me to marry her, and I did not know that she had a buffalo for a lover. What would you like me to do?" The demon said, "I swear to you that if you leave this place or say anything before sunrise, I will wring your neck. After sunrise, depart and never come to this house or let us hear from you again." Then the demon seized the hunchbacked and turned him upside down, with his head tucked in the toilet and his feet up in the air, saying to him, "I will stand here to watch you, and if you try to leave before sunrise, I will seiz you by the legs, and dash your head against the wall. Be careful with your life."
When the hunchbacked went into the privy, Badr al-Din Hasan went straightway into the net covering the net covering the bed and sat there waiting. Soon the bride came in, accompanied by an old woman who stood at the opening of the net, and said, "You mishappen man, take God's gift, you trash!" and departed, while the bride, whose name was Sit al-Husn entered the bed. She saw Badr al-Din Hasan and was surprised. She said, "O my dear, are you still here?" I thought that you and the hunchbacked were partners in me."
Badr al Din Hasan said, "Why I share you with the hunchbacked?"
Sit al-Husn said, "Why? Is he not my husband?"
Badr al-Din Hasan replied, "Lady, God forbid, the wedding is a pretence. Haven't you noticed that the attendants, the singing women, and all your relatives, presented you to me, while they laughed at him? Your father knows very well that we hired the hunchbacked for ten dirhams and a bowl of food and then got rid of him."
Sit al-Husn heard his words, she laughed and said, "By God, my little lord, you have made me happy. Put my heart at ease. Take me and hold me in your lap." She had no trousers on, so Badr al-Din Hasan took off his trousers. The thousand dinars the Jew had given him were in his belt purse. He wrapped the money in his trousers and put them under matress. He took off his turban and put it on the wrapping cloth. Now he in his shirt and skill cap, stood hesitating. But Sit al-Husn drew him towards her said, "O my love, you are keeping me waiting, quench my desire and let me enjoy your loveliness!" Then she recited the following verses:
O my God, rest your legs between my
Thighs. That is all I want in the world.
Let me hear you again and again.
End of the Night
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