Thousand & One Nights: 31st Night: The Porter & 3 Ladies

The doorkeeper went into the pool, threw water on herself, and after immersing herself completely, began to sport, taking water in her mouth and squirting it all over her sisters and the porter. Then she washed herself under her breasts, between her thighs, and inside her navel. She rushed out of the pool, sat naked in the porter's lap, and pointing to her slit, asked, "My lord and my love, what is this?"
"Your womb," said the porter, and she replied, "Pooh, pooh, you have no shame," and slapped him on the neck.
"Your vulva," said he, and the other sisters pinched him, shouting, "Bah, this is an ugly word."

"Your cunt," said he, and the third sister boxed him on the chest and knocked him over, saying, "Fie, have some shame."

"Your clitoris," said he and again the naked girl slapped him, saying, "No."

"Your pudenda, your pussy, your sex tool," said he, and she kept replying, "No, no." He kept giving various other names, but every time he uttered a name, one of the girls hit him and asked, "What do you call this?" And they went on, this one boxing him and that one slapping him, another hitting him. At last, he turned to them and asked, "All right, what is its name?" The naked girl replied, "The basil of bridges! You should have told me this from the beginning, oh, oh!" Then they passed the cup around and went on drinking for a while.

The shopper like her sister, took off all her clothes, saying "Whee," went into the pool, and immersed herself completely in the water. She washed herself under the belly, around the breasts, and between the thighs, then she rushed out, threw herself in the porter's lap, and asked, " My little lord, what is this?"

"Your vulva," he said, and she gave him a blow with which the hall resounded. She said, "Fie, you have no shame."

"Your womb," he said, and her sister hit him, and said, "Fie, what an ugly word!

"Your clitoris," he said, and the other sister boxed him, and said, "Fie, fie, you are shameless."

They kept at it, this one boxing him, and that one slapping him, another hitting him, another jabbing him, repeating, "No, no," while he kept shouting, "Your womb, your cunt, your pussy."

Finally he cried, "The basil of bridges," and all three burst out laughing, till they fell on their backs. But again all three slapped him on the neck, and said, "No, this is not its name." He cried, "All right, what is its name?" One of them replied, "Why don't you say the husked sesame?" He cried out, "The husked sesame! Thank God we are finally there." Then the girl put on her clothes, and they sat, passing the cup around, while the porter moaned with sore neck and shoulders.

They drank for a while, and the eldest and fairest of the three stood up and began to undress. The porter touched his neck and began to rub it with his hand, saying, "For God's sake, spare my neck and shoulders."

The girl stripped naked, threw herself into the pool, immersed herself in the water. The porter looked at her naked body, a slice of moon, and her face like full moon. He looked at her figure, her breasts, her swaying heavy hips. He moaned, and addressed her with the following verses:

The bough is fairest when 
Covered with green leaves 
But, if you were a bough it is 
Fairest when complete bare.

The girl heard his verses, came quickly out of the pool, sat in his lap, touched her slit, asked him, "O light of my eyes, O sweetheart, what is the name of this?"
"The basil of bridges," said he.
"Bah!" Said she.
"Husked sesame," said he.
"Pooh phoo!"
"Your womb."
"Fie, you have no shame," said she, and slapped him on the neck. This question and answer repeated several times, followed by blows, pinches, and bites until his neck swelled and choked. Finally she asked, "Why don't you say the Inn of Abu Masrur?

"Ha, ha, ha, the Inn of Abu Masrur," said the porter. She got up and put on her clothes; they resumed their drinking and passed the cup around for a while.

The porter stood up and took off his clothes, and revealing something dangling between his legs, leapt and plunge into the middle of the pool.

Morning overtook, Shahrazad and Dinarzad leapt into silence. Shahrazad told that she will tell the remaining story the forthcoming night if Shahriar spares me and let me live. Shahriar was ambivalent: His idea of chastity was getting blurred.

End of the Night






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