34.CHARLES DICKENS: DAVID COPPERFIELD: CHAPTER 34: MY AUNT ASTONISHES ME

I wrote to Agnes as soon as Dora and I were engaged.  A long letter, which explained the virtues of Dora and stated how blessed I was.  I requested Agnes not to treat this as a thoughtless passion or a boyish fancy that we used to joke about.  I assured her it was profound and not comparable.  Somehow, when I wrote the letter in a fine evening by my open window, the remembrance of her clear calm eyes and gentle face came stealing over me.  It shed a peaceful influence upon the hurry and agitation in which I had been living lately and which took away my happiness in some degree.  The thought of it soothed me into tears.  I remember that I sat resting,  my head upon my hand, when the letter was half done, cherishing general fancy as if Agnes were one of the elements of my natural home.  As if, Dora and I, at our home must be happier in her sacred presence.  As if, in love, joy, sorrow, hope or disappointment my heart turned to her and found a refuge.

Of Steerforth I said nothing in the letter.  I said there had been a sad event in Yarmouth, on account of Emily's flight, the reason of circumstances attending it, I knew, how quick she was always to divine the truth, and that she would never be the first to breathe his name. 

To this letter, I received an answer by return post.  As I read it, I seemed to hear Agnes speaking to me.  It was like her cordial voice in my ears.  What can I say more!

Of late, I had been away from home.  Traddles had called me twice or thrice.  Finding Peggotty within, and being informed by Peggotty, that she was my old nurse, he had acquired a good humoured acquaintance with her, and had stayed to have a little chat with her about me.  So Peggotty said; but I am afraid the chat was all on her own side, and of great length, as she was difficult indeed to stop, God bless me when she had me her theme.

Mrs Crupp had been making all kind of nuisance to me, because she was not at all pleasant with the presence of Peggotty.  She wrote a letter to me in which she stated that she did not like the presence of spies, intruders, and informers, especially in 'widower's weeds' ( underlined), in her premises.  Before receiving the letter I received this warning in her high pitched voice, talking to some invisible Familiar on the staircase.   As she found me not heeding  to her warning, she confined herself to making pitfalls on the stairs, principally with pitchers, and endeavouring to delude Peggotty to breaking her legs.  It was harassing to live in this kind of siege, but I was too much afraid of Mrs Crupp to see a way out of it.

'My dear Copperfield,' cried Traddles appearing at my door, in spite of these obstacles, 'how do you do?'

'My dear Traddles,' said I, 'I am delighted to see you at last and very sorry I have not been at home.  I have been so much engaged.'

'Yes,yes, I know,' said Traddles, 'of course your's lives in London, I think.'

'What did you say?'

'She- excuse me -Miss D you know,' said Traddles, colouring in his great delicacy, 'lives in London, I believe.'

'Oh, yes, near London.' 

'Mine, perhaps you recollect,' said Traddles, with a serious look, 'lives down in Devonshire - one of ten consequently, I am not so much engaged as you - in the sense.'

'I wonder you can bear,' I said, 'to see her so seldom.' 

'Hah!' said Traddles, thoughtfully.  'It does seem a wonder.  I suppose it is, Copperfield, because there is no help for it?' 

'I suppose so.' I replied with a smile, and not without a blush.  And because you have so much constancy and patience, Traddles.'

'Dear me!' said Traddles, considering about it, 'do I strike you in that way, Copperfield?  Really, I don't know that I had.  But she is such an extraordinary dear girl herself, that it's possible she may have imparted something of those virtues to me.  Now you mention it, Copperfield, I shouldn't wonder at all.  I assure you she is always forgetting herself, and taking care of other nine.

'Is she eldest?' I asked.

'Oh dear, no.' said Traddles.  'The eldest is a beauty.' 

I could not help smiling at the simplicity of this reply 

'Not ofcourse, but that my Sophie - pretty name, Copperfield, I always think?'

'Very pretty,' said I.

'Not ofcourse, but that Sophie is beautiful too in my eyes, and would be one of the dearest girls that ever was, in anybody's eyes.  But when I say the eldest is beauty, I mean she really is a-' he seemed to be describing clouds, about himself, with both hands: 'Splendid you know,' said Traddles, energetically.

'Indeed!' said I.

'Oh, I assure you,' said Traddles, something very uncommon, indeed!  Then, you know, being formed for a society and admiration, and not being able to enjoy much of it in consequence of their limited means, she naturally gets a little irritable and exacting, sometimes.  Sophy puts her in good humour.'

'Is Sophy the youngest?'

 'Oh, dear not! said Traddles, stroking his chin. 'The two youngest are only nine and ten.  Sophy educates them.' 

'The second daughter, perhaps?' I hazarded.

'No,' said Traddles, 'Sarah is the second.  Sarah has something the matter with her spine, poor girl.  The malady will wear out by and by, the doctors say, but in the meantime she has to lie down for twelve months.  Sophy nurses her.  Sophy is the fourth.' 

'Is the mother living?' I inquired.

'Oh yes,' said Traddles, 'she is alive.  She is a very superior woman indeed, but the damp country is not adapted to her constitution, and- in fact, she has lost the use of her limbs.'

'Dear me!' said I.

'Very sad, is it not? returned Traddles, 'but in a merely domestic view it is not so bad as it might be, because Sophy takes her place.  She is quite as much a mother to her mother, as she is to the other nine.'

I felt the greatest admiration for the virtues of the young lady, and, honestly with the view of doing my best to prevent the good nature of Traddles from being imposed upon, to the detriment of their joint prospects in life, inquired how Mr Micawber was.

'He is quite well, Mr Copperfield, thank you,' said Traddles, 'I am not living with him at present.'

'No?'

'No.  You see the truth is,' said Traddles, in a whisper, 'he had changed his name to Mortimer, in consequence of his temporary embarassment, and don't come out till after dark - and then in spectacle.  There was an execution put into our house, for rent.  Mrs Micawber was in such a dreadful state that I really couldn't resist giving my name to that second bill we spoke of here.  You may imagine how delightful it was to my feelings, to see the matter settled with it, and Mrs Micawber recover her spirits.'

'Hum,' said I

'Not that her happiness was of long duration,' pursued Traddles, 'for unfortunately, within a week another execution came in.  It broke up the establishment.  I have been living in a furnished apartment since then, and Mortimer has been very private indeed.  I hope you won't think it selfish, Copperfield, if I mentioned that the broker carried off, my little round table with marble top, and Sophy's flower pot and stand?'

'What a hard thing!' I exclaimed indignantly.

'It was a - It was a pull,' said Traddles, with his usual wince at the expression, 'I don't mention it with reproach, however, but with a motive.  The fact is, Copperfield, I was unable to repurchase them at the time of their seizure; in the first place, because the broker, having an idea that I wanted them, ran the price upto an extravagant extend; and I hadn't money.  Now, I have kept my eye since, upon the broker shop,' said Traddles, with great enjoyment of the mystery, which is up at the Tottenham Court Road, and today I found them put out for sale.  I have only noticed them from over the way.  If the broker saw me, he would ask high price.  Please help me.  Ask your old nurse to come with me to the shop.  I can show it to her from the round of the corner of the next street, and make a bargain, as if they were for herself, that she can!'

The delight with which Traddles propounded this plan to me and the sense he had of its uncommon artfulness are the freshest things in my remembrance.

I told him that my old nurse will be delighted to assist him, and that we would all take the field together, but on one condition - that he should make a solemn resolution to grant no more loans of his name, or anything else to Micawber. 

'My dear Copperfield,' said Traddles, 'I have already done so, because I begin to feel that I have not only been inconsiderate, but that I have been positively unjust to Sophy.  My word being passed to myself, there is no longer any apprehension, but I pledge it to you, too, with greatest readiness.  That first unlucky obligation I have paid.  I have no doubt Mr Micawber would have paid it if he could, but he could not.  One thing I ought to mention, which I like very much in Micawber, Copperfield.  It refers to second obligation, which is not yet due.  He doesn't tell me that it is provided for, but he says it will be.  Now I think there is something very fair and honest about that.

I am unwilling to damp my good friend's confidence, and therefore assented.  After a little further conversation we went round to the chandler's shop to enlist Peggotty; Traddles declining to pass the evening with me, both because he endured the living apprehensions that his property would be bought by somebody else before he could re-purchase it, and because it was the evening he always devoted to writing to the dearest girl in the world.

I shall never forget him peeping round the corner of the street in Tottenham Court Road, while Peggotty was bargaining for the precious articles; or his agitation when she came slowly towards us after offering in vain, a price, and was hailed by the relenting broker, and went back again.  The end of the negotiation was she bought the property on a tolerably easy terms, and Traddles was transported with pleasure.

'I am very much obliged to you indeed!' said Traddles, 'and if I must ask one other favour, I hope you wouldn't think it absurd, Copperfield?'

I said beforehand, certainly not.

'Then if you would be good enough,' said Traddles to Peggotty, to get the flower-pot now.  I think I should like to carry it home myself!'

Peggotty was glad to get it for him, and he overwhelmed her with thanks, and went his way up Tottenham Court Road, carrying the flower-pot affectionately in his arms, with one of the most delighted expressions of countenance, I ever saw.

We then turned back towards my chambers.  As the shops had charms for Peggotty which I never knew them possess in the same degree for anybody else, I sauntered along easily, amused by her staring in at the windows, and waiting for her as often as she chose.  We were thus a good while in getting to the Adelphi.

On our way upstairs, I called her attention to the sudden disappearance of Mrs Crupp's pitfalls, and also the prints of recent footprints.  We were both very much surprised coming higher up, to find my outer door standing open, and to hear voices inside.

We looked at one another, without knowing what to make of this, and went into the sitting room.  What was my amazement to find, of all people upon the earth, my aunt there, and Mr Dick.  My aunt sitting on a heap of luggage, with her two birds before her, and her cat on her knee, like a female Robinson Crusoe, drinking tea.  Mr Dick leaning thoughtfully on a great kite, such as we had often been out together to fly, with more luggage piled about him.

'My dear aunt!' cried I.  'Why, what an unexpected pleasure!' 

We cordially embraced.  Mr Dick and I cordially shook hands.  Mrs Crupp who was busy making tea, and could not be too attentive, cordially said she knew as Mr Copperfull would have his heart in his mouth when he see his dear relations.

'Hello!' said my aunt to Peggotty, who quailed before her awful presence, 'how are you?'

'You remember my aunt, Peggotty?' I said.

'For the love of goodness, child,' exclaimed my aunt don't call the woman by that South Sea Island name!  If she married and got rid of it, which was the best thing she could do, why don't you give her the benefit of the change?  What's your name now,- P?' said my aunt, as a compromise for the obnoxious appellation.

'Barkis, ma'am,' said Peggotty with a courtesy.

'Well!  That's human,' said my aunt.  'It sounds less as if you wanted a missionary.  How d'ye do, Barkis?  I hope you are well?'

Encouraged by these grace words, and by my aunt's extending her hand, Barkis came forward, and took the hand, and courtsied her acknowledgements. 

'We are older than we are, I see,' said my aunt.  'We have only met each other once before, you know.  A nice business we made of it then!  Trot, my dear, another cup.'

I handed it dutifully to my aunt, who was in her usual inflexible state of figure; and ventured a remonstrance with her on the subject of her sitting on a box.

'Let me draw the sofa here, or the easy chair, aunt,' said I.  'Why should you be so uncomfortable?'

'Thank you, Trot,' replied my aunt, 'I prefer to sit upon my property.'  Here my aunt looked hard at Mrs Crupp, and observed, 'We needn't trouble you to wait ma'am.'

'Shall I put a little more tea in the pot before I go, ma'am, said Mrs Crupp.

'No, thank you, ma'am,' replied my aunt.

'Would you let me fetch, another part of butter ma'am?' said Mrs Crupp.  'Or would you be persuaded to try a new-laid egg? or should I grill a rasher? Ain't there anything I could do for your aunt, Mr Copperfull?'

'Nothing ma'am, returned my aunt.  I shall do very well, I thank you.'

Mrs Crupp, who had been incessantly smiling to express sweet temper, and incessantly holding her head on one side, to express a general feeble constitution, and incessantly rubbing her hands, to express a desire to be of service to all deserving objects, gradually smiled herself, one-sided herself, and rubbed herself, out of the room.

'Dick,' said my aunt.  'You know what I told about time-servers and wealth worshippers?

Mr Dick- with rather a scared look, as if he had forgotten it- returned a hasty answer in the affirmative.

'Mrs Crupp is one of them,' said my aunt.  'Barkis, I'll trouble you to look after the tea, and let me have another cup, for I don't fancy that woman's pouring out!'

I knew my aunt sufficiently well to know that she had something of importance on her mind and that there was far more matter in this arrival than a stranger might have supposed.  I noticed how her eye lighted on me, when she thought of my attention otherwise occupied; and what a curious process of hesitation appeared to be going on within her, when she preserved her outward stiffness and composure.  I began to reflect whether I had done anything to offend her; and my conscience whispered me that I had not yet told about Dora.  Could it be by any means that.  I wondered.

As I knew she would only speak in her own good time, I sat down near her, and spoke to the birds, and played with the cat, and was easy as I could be.  But I was very far from being really easy; and I should still have been so, even if Mr Dick, leaning over the great kite, behind my aunt, had not taken every secret opportunity of shaking his head darkly at me, and pointing at her.  

'Trot,' said my aunt at last, when she had finished her tea, and carefully smoothed down her dress, and wiped her lips - you needn't go Barkis!- Trot, have you got to be firm and self-reliant?'

'I hope so, aunt.'

'What do you think?' inquired Miss Betsey.

'I think so, aunt.'

'Then why, my love,' said my aunt, looking earnestly at me, 'why do you think I prefer to sit upon this property of mine tonight?'

I shook my head unable to guess.

'Because,' said my aunt, 'it is all I have. Because I am ruined my dear!'

If the house, and every one of us tumbled down into the river together, I could have hardly received a shock.

'Dick knows it,' said my aunt laying her hand calmly on my shoulder, I am ruined, my dear Trot! All I have in the world is in this room, except the cottage, and that I have left Janet to let.  Barkis, I want to get a bed for this gentleman tonight.  To save expense, perhaps you can make up something here for myself.  Anything will do.  It's only for tonight.  We'll talk about this more tomorrow.'

I was roused from my amazement and concern for her - I am sure, for her falling on my neck, for a moment, and crying that she only grieved for me.  In another moment she suppressed this emotion; and said with an aspect more triumphant than dejected:

'We must meet reverses boldly, and not suffer them to frighten us, my dear.  We must learn to act the play out.  We must live misfortune down, Trot!'

THE END OF CHAPTER 34